Original Granny Dump

O massive turd you ease my bloat,
and drop down to the bowl to float,
you’re like a stinking gutpaste boat,
bobbing round a septic moat.

A massive squelchy faecal nugget,
best to shit it – not to lug it,
so rather than carry all that weight,
i’ve expelled it through my date.

O chunk of toe cheese from my feet,
like a putrid grain of wheat.
you are my toenail’s corner’s brew,
like blue-vein cheese mixed up with poo.

O morning poo I thee bestow,
upon the s-bend curved below,
you briefly wear a brown halo,
till it snips shut and off you go.

O early morning faeces bisque,
flowing forth from muscled disc,
your like a slightly thickened piss.
so farts today are too much risk.

O morning flow from my arsehole,
Your like a well done casserole.
my sinuses are on the blink,
so I cannot assess your stink.

o morning poo of liquid flame,
my poor ring you burn and maim,
last night’s chilli is to blame.
I won’t be eating that again

O reeking log of rogan josh,
you plip and plop and splash and splosh,
but anyone who joins your mosh,
will need a jolly thorough wash.

O morning poo your stench has power,
before your reek my nostrils cower,
its like egg yolk and apricot,
after anaerobic rot.

O evening poo of crap and gas,
in chunky farts you leave my ass,
in fact you sound and smell quite crass,
as I push down to free your mass.