Category Archives: Poetry of the Arse

O massive turd you ease my bloat, and drop down to the bowl to float, you’re like a stinking gutpaste boat, bobbing round a septic moat.

A massive squelchy faecal nugget, best to shit it – not to lug it, so rather than carry all that weight, i’ve expelled it through my date.

O chunk of toe cheese from my feet, like a putrid grain of wheat. you are my toenail’s corner’s brew, like blue-vein cheese mixed up with poo.

O morning poo I thee bestow, upon the s-bend curved below, you briefly wear a brown halo, till it snips shut and off you go.

O early morning faeces bisque, flowing forth from muscled disc, your like a slightly thickened piss. so farts today are too much risk.

O morning flow from my arsehole, Your like a well done casserole. my sinuses are on the blink, so I cannot assess your stink.

o morning poo of liquid flame, my poor ring you burn and maim, last night’s chilli is to blame. I won’t be eating that again

O reeking log of rogan josh, you plip and plop and splash and splosh, but anyone who joins your mosh, will need a jolly thorough wash.

O morning poo your stench has power, before your reek my nostrils cower, its like egg yolk and apricot, after anaerobic rot.

O evening poo of crap and gas, in chunky farts you leave my ass, in fact you sound and smell quite crass, as I push down to free your mass.